Dear Diary,

A few months into my school life here and it’s been brilliant. I’ve been laid by two of the steamiest guys High Hill has to offer, with none of the drawbacks. Lessons just seem pointless now I’m just chasing to see who’s best!

We’re still in the depths of a miserable November as I’m writing now, so it’s been tricky trying to find guys who just want to keep warm. Everyone’s after a boring relationship now, can’t people just have fun nowadays? My Chemistry lesson (or should I say “Hour Eyeing up the Hunk next To Me”) was interrupted when a notice came for me to see the...