"I'ma tell you all about my birdie," he told the bag as they left the store. "He 'mazing. He gonna be your bestest favourite because he gives the loveliest cuddlies and he spins you around when you're sad and sings Born This Way with you."

"And you're just gonna adore my Ro-Ro," Raven said, taking hold of the bag, shifting the two other carriers to his other hand. "Because he is the sweetest little boy I know, and he'll spoil you so badly. He shares all his toys, and he makes cute videos with his babies so they can feel special, and he always asks them about their day; you...