"We can have breakfast nuzzlies, instead, rat," I told him. "How about we get you changed and then we can have some cheese and jam."

Magic words, Lumen's face lit up like 1000 watt bulb. Then it faltered slightly. "No need changey, daddy. Lou no baby."

Baby or not, it didn't excuse the fact that he needed changing.

"No, you're not," I reassured, pushing him away slightly so I could pick up the objects that he had carelessly disregarded. "But we still need you nice and dry. We have to do lots of driving today, Lou-king, so we're not going to learn to use the potty today, but we'll start...