"Xander, I'm moving out of your house."

I'm not looking at him as I say this. If I look at him, I'll lose my nerve, and I can't afford to do that. I'm trying to do the right thing, for the sake of everyone I love.

Xander's silence is shocked, and I can literally hear him discarding several responses. Eventually he settles on "why?"

He doesn't sound angry. He sounds concerned, and kind of sad. He sounds ready to understand my answer even though I haven't even said a word. Somehow, that makes everything worse.

This would be easier if he just got angry with me. Maybe then I would...