Under Martin's presidency, the city is better off than it's ever been. Public funding has improved, our ill-conceived involvement with foreign cities has been reduced, and unemployment is at an all-time low.

"HELL YEAH!" a reporter exclaims from the back of the room. He's on his feet, ready to applaud Martin, but suddenly remembers everyone is staring at him and sits down ashamed.

"My methods may be unconventional. I don't care about what's politically correct; I care about results. I care about making this city greater than it has ever been. And this is why A city's people voted for me because they want results. They want things to be...