"So how often did she text you?" I asked.

"Not once," she said looking up at me over her salad.

"That's odd. I must have fifteen texts from her today."

"It's not odd," Jess said smiling sympathetically at me as if I couldn't see something so obvious.

"No?"

"No. I told you. She has a crush on you." Jess said playfully.

"No, she doesn't," I said emphatically.

"Yes she does," she answered in the same tone. Then playfully again, "She wants to jump your bones."

"Oh for God . . . No, she doesn't."

"Three years. Without a man," Jess pointed out. "I'm surprised she didn't hump you the minute...