“Well,” she begins, “there was the airport scandal. He was there to stop you, and you yelled at him in the middle of the airport and left.” She is counting off with each finger, starting with her index finger.

“Lie,” I say. “We were talking, just the two of us, in the ladies' room.” She looks at me, not sure whether to believe me. “Never mind, this is the most you should know. Next.”

“There's also the part where you cheated on him with your ex.” She counts off the second with her middle finger.

“Lie. It was the other way around,” I say, downcast. She widens her eyes at...