"Okay," she says. We disconnect and I pull on a shirt. It's about 8 p.m. on a weeknight. It won't seem odd that we're going out for a treat.

"Want us to bring you anything?" I ask mom and dad as Lauren scoots past me headed for the door.

"No thanks, honey," mom says, eyeing me apprehensively. "You two have fun."

"Mom wants me to fuck dad!" Lauren says as she's buckling her seatbelt.

"So you said on the phone," I answer as I start the car and head to my place. "Just relax for a minute. You can tell me all about it once we get there."

"What? I'm...