"Oh god Becca, don't," she wails, "not yet. Just... stop... please stop, now. Everyone STOP!" She pries my fingers from her soaking flower and steps back, panting. "I'm sorry. This is too fast for me." She sits back on the table behind her as Jason leans back into the couch.

I'm left standing bare-assed and ready to jump them both. I have to shake my mind back to reality like a goddamn dog.

"I'm sorry, Rebecca. Please sit. Please."

I do, and my bare ass on their leather sofa has me thinking they might need a mop later.

"Sorry guys," I say, sheepish and embarrassed, "I'm really not like this."...