"Father Donovan reminded me that the problem isn't Michael's horrible addiction to self-pleasure..."

"Mooooom," Michael groaned.

"...it's what he's doing with the results."

"Look, Mom," Hope said, "We all want to help Michael out, but shouldn't this be a conversation between you and him? I'm not sure why we need to be involved."

"Because you're the ones that have to help him," Mary said.

"Wait," Chastity said, "You want us to like, jerk him..."

"Oh my Lord no! You can't do that to your brother. That would be terrible!" Mary said, shocked. She felt the whole room seem to sigh in relief, "Michael needs to ejaculate in your vaginas, not...