I don’t want to make it public that I’m not okay. But I guess that's how it really is even if I don't say I'm not okay, anyone can see that I'm not okay because I'm quiet.

I'd better avoid Blue first. I will just distance myself from him. It's only now that I've realized that it's very painful when you've been rejected many times. I just needed time to sort things out for myself. If I can't really get into Blue's life even as his friend. Edi, I will accept. But it will take me a lot of time to move on and forget how I feel about him....