"I can say for sure that dad really was just trying to help. Regardless, he took Jessie inside while I stayed outside and partied with our guests. So... what I'm about to tell you comes directly from Jessie. I didn't see any of this."

"Jesus Christ..." Jack muttered, then laughed into his hands.

"Jessie said that she hopped up on the kitchen counter and spread her legs so that he could get a good look and put some ointment on the ant bite. But... she's sitting there, spread eagle, and said that she saw that he was hard as a rock. And like... she was asking if he was okay...