DADDY LICKS MY LOLLIPOP

“Go on, lick it.”

My stepdad shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “Uh, no thanks.”

“Come on.” I goad him, “I know you want to.”

He sticks a finger up, pointing it in the air. “Uh, quite clearly,” he says, emphasizing his words faux-dramatically, “I do not.”

“Come on, daddy! One lick!” I pout my lips, my voice high and saccharine. “You're really going to turn down your little girl when she asks you for a lick?” I might be a grown woman, but no man is immune to the sappy pitch of a crybaby.

“Really? How many times is that going to come up...