DADDY TAKES ME ON THE BEACH

I swelter from the mean glare of the sun. If it were any other situation, I'd wilt, but you can't get a tan without going up against the sun at its worst and telling it to kiss your ass.

Yeah, I might be Asian, but I can still get a slight bronze on my skin,

and believe me, I look a whole lot sexier when I'm glowing. I might only go up a shade or two, but I love what the darkness does to my mentality. I feel like a stone-cold tiger when I'm strutting around campus. It's why I asked my stepdaddy to...