Amanda's POV

Going back to Beta Matthew's room, I shut the door and sat on the bed. My eyes were clouded with tears as memories of what I did in the garden flooded my mind. I felt so disgusted with myself. How could I let him have sex with me, and why did I want it so much? Why did it feel like a goodbye? Why couldn’t I reject him and push him away when he touched me? At least now I have the right to push him and say no, but no, I didn’t do that. Instead, I loved it and wanted more.

Frowning, I sniffed myself and realized...