There were a couple of new guys in our building. They'd leased one of the top floor units. I'd seen them around from a distance and they looked like a couple of honeys to me. I had been idly wondering how I could go about meeting them.

Then along came Clare. My good friend, Clare, who knew all the gossip. Quite often before the victims of the gossip knew they'd done something to be gossiped about. Naturally I asked her what she knew about the two new tenants.

"You must mean Peter and Andrew," she said with a giggle. "Well, you know how they say that all the best men...