"I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to go home and stop.... stop how all of this messes me up and ruins my brain. I want to return to my peaceful life and have some normal back." I utter it more to myself in a breathy and exhausting blur of words. My voice breaks with the genuine raw pain that comes with my confusion. I'm so afraid to trust him ever again and not willing to stay and endure this anymore, yet even saying it rips my heart open and makes me bleed at the thought of going.

"I know I keep fucking everything up. I'm trying,...