*Kai*

The journey is at once satisfying and torturous. Because she is so near, because I can not have her. Because I have to give the impression that I am not aware of every breath she draws, that I don’t think a thousand times about leaning in and taking possession of her sweet mouth, that helping her relax into the motion of the train doesn't make me want to see her settling into the motion of lovemaking. That her gardenia scent surrounding me doesn’t give me hope that when all is said and done, she won’t hate me.

She overwhelms me in ways I have never been, so I nearly...