That night, I had shaved my beard, and Amanda had woven my hair into tight corn rows. I was fighting like the traditional Celt of the past. I was naked, except for the belt holding my knives. Not only was I naked, my entire body was painted in bright blue, wit a white accent stripe across my forehead, and one diagonally across my chest, roughly following my scar. Amanda had even shaven off my pubic hair, which made my penis look larger than it was. To highlight it, she had painted it white.

I was beyond shocked when she went out that morning and came back with her long, shining...