She kept up her patter as she showed her the house, three bedrooms, nice big lot, small patio.

"Excuse me for just a moment while we confer, will you?" she said to the realtor, before grabbing me into the living room.

"Look honey, a fireplace."

She wasn't going to be distracted. She backed me against the mantle. "What the fuck is going on here?"

"Really, Beck, isn't it obvious? We're house hunting. I don't want to start married life in an apartment. Besides, when we have kids we're gonna need the space."

I don't think she heard much past married life, before she launched into my arms. I scraped the...