It wasn't until the cops had left that it occurred to me that once they did, there'd be nothing to prevent the intruders from having another go at it. And this time they weren't likely to be so subtle. I threw on some shorts and ran after the big guys and caught them just as they were starting the car. I explained the situation and they agreed to come back in for a few minutes while I made other arrangements. I learned that Big was really Mike and Very Big was Stan, short for Stanislaus. They moved the car to my driveway and came inside with me.

They were both...