"I want to be a slut. It's opposite of what I've been. I want to be wanton. But I want someone to make me, to take control."

"You could just cheat on your husband," Gray said.

I thought about it. That's true, but I wouldn't be satisfied. There was another piece. I knew what is was. I was afraid where it would lead."

In a soft voice I said, "I want others to know I'm no longer in charge. I also want Kyle to know that he is not in control, and people who Kyle knows to know he's not in control."

I felt awful saying it. What kind of...