When we met Sean for lunch in Portland on Sunday, Mom and Sue were wearing some of their sluttiest clothes considering the weather, and they entered the restaurant on leashes with Lushes in their pussies, their husbands leading them in. Sean stood as we approached the table, shocked once again by what the cat dragged in, metaphorically speaking. Alicia and Ingrid were also with us, our protection.

I introduced Gretchen, her parents, and Ingrid, her bodyguard.

"You can add Ingrid to your hall pass list, Sean," I said. "Since she needs to go where Gretchen goes and if I want to spend some quality time with Gretchen, you should have...