EGLON SPECIAL FORCES, KANSAS SATRAP

"Van Helsing - do you have any idea what time it is?"

"It's around 5:00 PM here, Your Eminence," Gabriel Van Helsing replied innocently.

Cardinal Guiseppe Morelli stared, owl-eyed, from the monitor, his florid face redder than usual.

"It is 11 PM here, Van Helsing, and while it may not seem that late to you, I rise at 3:00 AM every morning! I have been asleep for two hours; you have awakened me from a very satisfying slumber, you Philistine!" He glowered from across the ocean. "What is it you want - and it had better be good!"

"A dispensation," Van Helsing said. "There's a...