Sean was working when Dad called, and it was several hours before he got there. When he did, all the others were in the waiting room. I was still in labor, and hadn't gone to the birthing room yet, so they were letting a couple people at a time in to see me.

Dad and Sean came back to see me together.

"How's it going, tiger?" Dad asked.

"About how you'd expect to be passing a nine pound bowling ball through my birth canal, Dad. Sean, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I may never let anyone fuck me again who isn't wrapped in two condoms."

When I saw...