I turned away from him and looked at the moon in its tenderness and beauty on this night, I know that what I did will make our relationship colder than the coldness of ice itself, as if I didn't expect this as hell

I turned to him to apologize for what happened and what I did until I made him remember this past, but I don't really know what happened because everything happened very quickly and made me go into a very bad psychological state, I had a knee in front of me with his shoulder and he couldn't breathe, what am I going to do Now ? I feel...